In case you haven’t noticed, I’m taking a bit of an “iterative” approach to my blog and website and even the crochet designs themselves. This isn’t do much a “design theory” approach as a need for trial and error. I have no idea what will work and what won’t. And - to be honest - most of the times I’ve been sure I kicked a goal, there was little interest. Whereas projects I deemed “meh” have gotten some of the biggest reactions. I’m not savvy enough in the world of crochet design or online content creation to know why something does or doesn’t work. All I know is that there is a difference and the more things I try, the more things I learn. If you’re an avid follower, you may have noticed that I quietly started adding Etsy links to some projects. One of the great things about Etsy is that the threshold to selling is very low, so I really isn’t hard to get something up there. What is hard is getting someone’s attention in a ridiculously crowded marketplace. Ravelry is great because everyone who is on the site is seeking patterns. With Etsy, people are usually looking for something tangible. Because you don’t want to confuse or disappoint people, you have to work quite hard to make sure the people who do eventually find you are in the right place. I went back and forth about setting up an Etsy shop, but then I remembered the journey to designing patterns in the first place. I’ve been making up patterns for almost as long as I’ve crocheted. I had never taken the leap to writing them up or publishing them because there was never a reason compelling enough to overcome my doubts. I was asking “Why should I?” Rather than “Why not?” But this year, I decided to give things a shot more and to ask myself “Why not?” instead of “Why?” Certainly I haven’t skyrocketed to crochet stardom, but I have kicked a few goals (seriously can’t wait until my magazine project can be made public.) More than anything, I’ve felt so free to flip my mental narrative. I’m exploring, discovering and learning a lot. Even when things flop, I’m still having heaps of fun. Since uploading a few patterns, I haven’t had masses of customers flooding in. But, I have been happy enough with the traction to keep at it. So I am very happy to announce that I am having a soft launch party for my Etsy store: Gray Day Crochet Shop. To honor this auspicious occasion I’ve added my first promo code: GRAYDAYPARTAY. Enter this promo code for 20% off your order before the end of May. (Fingers crossed this all works ok). In addition, for every order with this promo code, I will donate 10% of the order to the Autoimmune Resource and Research Centre - a charity dedicated to helping people with autoimmune diseases live to their full potential. It is hard to believe it is May already. Even though this year has been ridiculously busy, working on crochet patterns has brought me so much joy. I would really encourage you to think about those things you’ve never tried and ask yourself, “Why not?” Even if it isn’t great, you will still gain the experience and the insights through the journey. Thank you all for coming on my journey with me. I have no idea where it will lead, but I’m enjoying the experience along the way. In addition, for every order with this promo code, I will donate 10% of the order to the Autoimmune Resource and Research Centre - a charity dedicated to helping people with autoimmune diseases live to their full potential.
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I’m so excited to finally get to share one of my happiest projects ever - my May Day Tea Cozy! Oh man, was this fun. I wanted to make something for my mom for Mother’s Day, but it’s going into Spring in the US, so it wasn’t time to whip up a cowl or mittens. Once nice thing about these sorts of occasions is that it can really stimulate your creative juices by giving you something to aim for. Let me shed a little light on my process for this one. One of my favorite things to do with my mom is to have a lovely cup of tea and catch up. It can be total fluff or the deepest conversation - there’s just something transcendent about that quality time for me. So I thought….what can I make that’s tea related? Good thing I’ve been getting very into tea cozies lately, so I instantly knew I had to make one for her. Even when it is just her and Dad at home, they will still brew a perfect pot of tea most nights and she loves entertaining, so I thought it would be a fun gift that is not only perfect for tea, but allows you to have those long, winding and wonderful conversations without worrying about your tea going cold. The “what” stage is usually the hardest, so once I knew tea cozy, 90% of the mental lifting was done. Next I was trying to think about what I wanted to do specifically for her. I could have approached it from a few angles, but one of my old reliables for my mom is the color green. She has always loooooooooved green, so I knew if I started with that, it would be hard to go wrong. So I started thinking what could I do to involve green and Mother’s Day and you can see how quickly I landed on a bouquet of flowers. It is perfect for a tea cozy because you can do all kinds of fun and fancy things on top and keep it more simple on the sides. Right off the bat I knew I wanted to do a bow around it to make it feel more like a bouquet than just an amalgamation of flowers. When it came to the flowers, I really did ponder a bit. The problem isn’t so much coming up with ideas it is culling ideas! There are so many to choose from - peonies, dahlias, day lilies, chrysanthemums, poppies, snapdragons - you get the idea. Fortunately, crochet is infinitely better for flowers than knitting (sorry knitters, I still love you). The shaping possibilities are endless. The obvious choice for flowers was roses. Not only are they quintessentially “Mother’s Day,” but Mom loves them and they remind me of the many years we gave my grandmothers’ miniature roses for Mother’s Day. I’ve been making crochet roses for decades, but I did want to challenge myself to a new technique. I love making paper roses from a paper spiral. When you wind from the outside in, it gives the perfect amount of pulling in from the outside and blooming from the inside. So I worked out a few equations to vary the expansion along the spiral and I’m pretty darn tickled with the form I landed on. Once I picked roses, I thought for a minute I would maybe just do one kind of flower, but then I thought, “Where’s the fun in that?!?” So then I had a think through some of my favorite flower variations. Here’s what I ended up with:
Each of these took a fair bit of work to get them where I wanted. Lots of one step forward, two steps back, but once I got it - I got it. I was on such a role, I ended up with leftover flowers. Sewing isn’t my strong suit, but the flowers were very forgiving to arrange and to attach. It was a very satisfying feeling to see the bouquet truly take form. It was one of those situations where the whole was so much more than just the sum of its parts. I am in love, love, love with this tea cozy. Part of it is the design factor, but mostly it’s because I designed it for my mom, with her in mind, and I can’t imagine anyone I would rather give this to. Thank you mom for loving and encouraging me for all these years. I hope this tea cozy will be the perfect accent for your many cups of tea and the wonderful conversations that go with them. Even in my 30s, I love learning from you and aspiring to be like you more and more. You can check out the info on Ravelry and Etsy. Prepping the night before your child’s birthday is the cramming for finals of adulthood. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but I broke one of my cardinal rules of birthday parties: Never agree to a theme until you have checked the availability of party supplies. Honestly, I NEVER give the thumbs up until I have done some research. But this year, it seemed like Ninjago was everywhere. I assumed that the same licensing that was putting it on my son’s radar to begin with was the same licensing cartel that runs the party supplies. I. Was. Wrong. Ufdah! Now, there are a zillion cute DIY Lego/Ninjago ideas on Pinterest, but this year we were going to do whatever we could to keep it simple. It is darn cute to see colored plates glued onto tablecloths like big Lego bricks and who wouldn’t want to just glue some free printable eyes on a plate for an easy ninja? But I was determined to let this year be the year that the K.I.S.S.* method was our motto. So I started looking into outsourcing options and interweb nooks and crannies for time and sanity saving solutions. I then thought, “Well, I’m spending so much time researching, I might as well just print some eyes and glue them on a plate.” That’s how it all started. Then came the paper ninja stars I recruited my daughter to make. Before long, I thought, “These shapes are so simple, I should just make a cute crochet mask - it will be fun for the party!” Seriously. I thought that would be no big deal. The first couple were fun, but then the enthusiasm petered off. After making a few I couldn’t stop because it wouldn’t be fair if some kids didn’t get them and I didn’t want to throw in the towel because I didn’t want to waste the ones I’d made. So I just kept crocheting, just kept crocheting, just kept crocheting. And I got the masks done - but the other DIY stuff was still a #wip. As I was hovering over my plates and tablecloths on the living room floor tonigh with the glue in hand I realized the familiarity of the adrenaline, expectation, nerves, anxiety and faltering hope I was feeling. Prepping the night before your child’s birthday is the cramming for finals of adulthood. So much culminates with this moment. It doesn’t matter how much you have or have not done, it will all come down to a couple of crucial hours tomorrow. And the day itself will be such a rush of activity that you will just be in the moment. But the night before portends excitement and calamity. As if somehow, each additional detail on the cake, trinket in the goody bag or bit of streamer could be the deciding factor. I know this is irrational and I know that no one is grading, but I’m not discouraged by how over-the-top I am with birthdays (probably to a fault). I remember hearing research about whether reading baby books makes you a better parent and the researchers thought it was more likely that parents who care enough to read baby books possess the same qualities that will make them good parents. So I will take my night-before tension as an indication that even if it is ridiculous (and far from perfect) the fact that I’m anxious shows that I care. It’s the night before the party, the glue is still drying in the plate/eye combos, but I think we got it all. I’m feeling good and ready for all that tomorrow brings. Even so - I’m pretty sure we’ll try to avoid a DIY party next year. *Keep It Simple, Stupid - thanks Mr. Peterson for teaching me that one. Forgetting is the easy thing to do. Forgetting is the entropy of our minds. To not forget takes a choice and discipline to push way those things that so easily distract us and to focus on a bigger remembrance. I’ve heard that the most sought after commodity of the moment is attention. When so many forces vie to win, woo or buy our attention, it must take a determination and grit to not give in.
Our days of remembrance are not only about those who fought and those who died, it is about how we and future generations choose to live in light if the sacrifice of thers. I cannot separate myself from the history that made my present story possible. I am grateful and humbled and a bit scared of what would happen if we do forget. Visible or tangible reminders are meaningful and helpful. I wanted to make a poppy and I wanted to share the pattern so we can encourage each other and those around us to live lives of thanks and rememberance. Poppy Mini Pattern With black: Foundation round: Ch 3, sl st in first ch to form a ring Rnd 1: ch 2 (counts as first hdc), 11 more hdc in ring, sl st in top of first st to join (12 sts) With red: Rnd 2: ch 2 (counts as first sc), sc in same st, 2 sc in each st around, sl st in top of first st to join (24 sc) Rnd 3: *ch 4, 2 trc in each of next 4 sts, ch 4, sl st in next st (petal formed), sl st in next st* rep from * to * 3 more times (4 petals) Fasten off and weave in ends. Now you’re ready to wear or give your poppy with pride. I’m not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I hate downtime or any unstructured time. Trying to relax makes me bored and being bored stresses me out! Part of the reason I am so obsessed with crocheting is it gives me a project and working on a project is my happy place. Only recently have I worked out that Zoe is wired this way too. She is much happier working through a To Do list of chores than just playing. Give her a task, a project or a mission and she gives it puts the biggest smile on her face (bonus points if she gets to be the boss!) Since I made that connection, I have been trying to think of projects we can tackle together as quality time. Today, I agreed to something she has been begging me for since she was 4...we made a YouTube video. She wanted it to be a tutorial, so I pitched the idea of a kid-friendly crochet along (CAL) where I could take her step by step through it and viewers could follow along at their own pace. We agreed to do a simple circle. It’s a technique I haven’t taught her yet, but she did know the basics to be able to do it. We recorded an intro and propped up our phone and kicked off. So, the circle took us about 15 minutes from start to finish. And our camera positioning was not ideal. The bottle we propped the phone on is in the shot and a lot of the time our hands aren’t even on camera! I was thinking, “Oh no! This isn’t good. It won’t help people and it certainly isn’t a good ‘brand identity.’” I was pondering what to do as Zoe and I chuckled at our foibles, but she has strong opinions in the matter. She said we have to keep it because it’s “keeping it real” - fair point, I thought. Then she sealed the deal saying how this video attempt was us “making memories.” She’d be a good lawyer. I was persuaded. So we edited it as best we could and then we uploaded it. I realized that this is one of those things where it’s better to do something imperfectly than nothing. If I don’t want her to be a perfectionist, then I can model that by embracing this video for what it is - happy memories. Voila! Our first YouTube video. P.s. I’m sure we’ll have other chances to improve for future videos. As my eldest approaches 8 years old, I have been having a bit of a "mid-mom-life crisis." Seriously. How is she halfway to 16? All of a sudden, many of the things I have thought, "One day I'll make that for my daughter..." have this expiry date. She's going to be grown up and out of here in no time! (Well, if we're still living in Sydney, she could still be crashing at our house well into adult years. But there is still the possibility that she could move out at 18 and never come back. I've already missed the boat on many crochet projects I've been wanting to make (ice cream sundae beanie, baby cardigans, lacy bonnets) *sigh* - but now I've got a renewed focus on getting some things done before it is too late. Enter, the Fancy Pants Bunting! I have been wanting to make a decorative bunting for her room for YEARS, but most of the patterns looked chunky or meh. So, in my year of exploratory crochet, I thought I'd give it a try. And I'm so happy with how it came out! I'm using shaping of both working in the round and working in rows to get the lace and geometrics just right. I particularly love the play of light, so the open space has just as big a role as the yarn itself. I improvised until I got it just how I wanted it. I even used the leftover yarn from the hat and scarf I made her for our Christmas visit to Minnesota, so 2 happy memories are converging with one batch of yarn. It's about 12 feet long and now lives happily on the wall in her room. It probably makes me smile more than it makes her smile, but I'll take it. I'm going to try to seize the moments of crocheting influence I can have before she gets to the point where everything I make is dorky. When she's done with it living in her room, I'll probably still stash it and use it for birthday parties, but it will be that much more beautiful for having been part of her childhood. Check out the pics and pattern on Ravelry and Etsy. If you know someone dealing with chronic fatigue or illness, you’ve likely encountered the “spoon theory.” If you haven’t - check it out here and then come on back. To be honest, I’m a bit meh about the spoon imagery. Maybe it’s the fact that spoons seem so arbitrary that it bugs me to think about. (Video game hearts/hp make much more sense to me.) Maybe I just spend too much time in denial to admit that if I choose to expend energy in one way, I’ll have to pay for it from somewhere else. Either way, it’s not a metaphor that instantly resonates... until it does. Recently I’ve been feeling low because I haven’t seen friends for so long. I’ve had a cold/virus since February and I’m just run down and feeling like I’m in survival (aka “just keep swimming”) mode. I’m frustrated with feeling crappy, so I decided to make a point to do some social things with friends no matter what. So I did. I finally had a Saturday flower markets outing with someone I love and we’ve been trying to make it happen for over a year. It was so good. She met me with coffee for the car ride. We bought flowers until we couldn’t carry any more and it was one of those glorious Saturday mornings where everything seems to glow with warmth and light. But then - whooom - I felt like I was run over by a truck. I was optimistically hoping that the awesomeness of the outing would overflow into the rest of the day. Instead, it seemed like a significant trade off. One awesome outing = 1 full day of feeling like poop. So aggravating! But it isn’t even consistent. Sometimes I go out and feel so hopped up on endorphins I just float through the rest of the day. Other times, a good outing seems to be like the sea witch in The Little Mermaid. I get my legs, but the sea witch is lurking until the moment she’s going to claim my voice as recompense. Sometimes I go so long without social outings that I think subconsciously I am avoiding the potential pain. Other times I convince myself I’m being too worried for nothing - only to pay dearly in the aftermath. It’s the unpredictability that is hardest for me to accept. There are no rules, no terms of reference. It’s all a bit of a gamble. It forces me to again admit that I’m not in control. My task is to assess the situation at hand and work out what to do next. It’s not a problem to solve, it’s a circumstance requiring a response. So much of my life is about unclenching my fists from a desired outcome that I’m clinging to and to relax them and teach them how to just accept something. When my arthritis flared up for the first time, my hand swelled and I couldn’t grasp a pen or fork or hold a cup (ironically, I couldn’t clench my fists and hold on to something even if I wanted to.) I was utterly dependent on others and felt quite helpless. I’m glad my meds are working and things have not been that bad since they kicked in, but I often think of that time. Life is full of moments where we are so limited in what we can do that our only option is to avoid or accept. By no means have I mastered the art of accepting and adapting, but I have gotten better at being grateful for the times things are going well. The simple act of holding a crochet hook is something I can no longer take for granted. I am thankful that I can use my hands to create something. I like looking back on these things as happy memories in the hard times. Each piece is connected to a person or a flight of fancy and it makes me smile. Accepting the things I cannot change is one of my repeated life lessons. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting better at making lemonade. If I gradually cut the sugar, maybe one day I’ll be ok with the lemons as they are. In the winter of 2008/2009, Nic and I were in Morocco and one of my best friends was getting married in Indiana. It was pretty miraculous that I was able to be there for the Valentine’s Day wedding - although I did spend more time in transit than at my destination. But I was leaving Nic behind for Valentine’s Day. I wanted to do something Valentines-y, but we didn’t have any spare money so special deliveries and even presents weren’t options. The night before I was set to fly out, I remembered that I had some red felt and I quickly cut it into a bunch of hearts and hid them around the house. Under Nic’s pillow, in the silverware drawer. Next to our toothbrushes. You get the picture. While I was away, he kept finding little hearts all around the place; each one a little token of love. Fast forward a number of years and I was making lunch for my daughter. She was struggling with pre-school drop offs and I kept thinking that I wish there was a way that she could know I loved her and give a sense of connection when I couldn’t be there in person. I remembered the felt hearts and quickly whipped out my crochet hook and some red yarn and made a petite heart to pop into her lunch box. She loved it and added it to her little stash of things she collects. When she went off to kindergarten, I made sure she had the heart in her pocket so she could reach in and touch it whenever she wished she could reach out and touch mommy. I don’t decorate the house for Valentine’s Day, but I have thrown a couple of Galentine’s parties. (Nic even got me a waffle maker for my birthday last year because I love Leslie Knope so much.) Thinking about non-romantic love (or “rotic” - romantic without the “man” as we used to say in college) is something I can definitely get behind. I want more ladies celebrating ladies in my life and things like crocheted hearts are way more likely to be appreciated by the ladies in my life. This beauty can be a spontaneous gift that doesn’t cost a dime. It is quick, but handmade and heartfelt. I know it’s just a little pattern, so I wanted to make it a free download. If you haven’t picked up your hook in a while, this is the perfect chance for a fun, quick project to share with one of your best gal-pals. It’s not often in life that you are given carte blanche to go as wild as you like. Usually it’s more of an “ask for forgiveness rather than permission” kind of thing. This means you have to steel yourself to go out on a limb and usually, the risk is too high and the ROI is too small. It is easy to either aim for the status quo or the lowest common denominator. This was my default approach when I got a request for a tea cozy. I haven’t made one before, so I was focused on size, shape and stretch, to make sure it would work well enough to earn the label of “tea cozy.” I was happy that the end result ticked those boxes, but it was a bit boring. Then, Nic said that a crazy tea cozy would be even better. How often does someone actually ask for you to amp up the crazy? I was excited, but also stumped. Little did I know that wacky and wild tea cozies were a bit of a thing. I didn’t want to scrap what I’d already done, but it had a sense of completeness, so I couldn’t figure out what to do next. I mulled and mused and then my sub-conscious came to the rescue. I think the process must have been something like: tea -> British -> royalty -> 3D representation -> crown! I started to play around with my remaining yarn to get a structure that could break free from the rounds and evoke a crown without feeling too formal, stuff or stuffy. After a fair bit of trial and error, I worked out a 3D arc that gave the strength and separation I wanted. I added a partial ball to the flower on the top and voila! A coronation ready tea cozy. Back when I was studying secondary education, I vividly remember when I learned that visual and audio learning styles were not the only options. Enter tactile-kinetic. One identifying question was, “When deciding how to spell a word do you a) write it to see if it looks right b) spell it out loud to see if it sounds right c) write it to see if it feels right?” This was an Aha! moment for me because I will often use my finger to write on my leg or other surface to see if a spelling feels right. Once the penny dropped, I noticed myself showing tactile-kinetic preferences everywhere. I fidget with my fingers and can’t resist fiddling and playing with things. In this context, no wonder I can’t put down my crochet hook, but it goes beyond that. The touch and feel of the yarn itself is like balm to my touchy feely soul. Some are fuzzy and funky, playful and poppy, or durable and practical (looking at you, my machine washable wonders - mwah). It means yarn shops are seductive and the whole experience is an indulgence for the senses. In general, I’m all about natural fibers. Wool, cotton, alpaca, silk, modal and mohair. But there are times for acrylic. Sometimes, it’s just about taking what’s in front of you and making it work. I’m very spoiled at the moment because I got some birthday gifts that enabled me to triple my stash. Now im trying to marry my new found loves with ideas that have been percolating (FYI - I’m an impulsive decision maker rather than a planner). Stay tuned - I can’t wait to share some projects that I haven’t even thought of yet. Do you feel like your leaning styles and personality preferences show in your creative pursuits? What are your favorite yarns/fibers to work with? |
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AuthorMari Koeck Archives
January 2021
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